Things I was taught by Godzilla (by Jeff Zornow)

– Don’t mess with the planet too much…. OR Godzilla will stomp your ass

– Don’t be too greedy or Godzilla will stomp your ass

– Don’t be an asshole to your fellow man or any other beings that share the planet with you… or Godzilla will stomp your ass


-When NOT messing with the planet too much this also includes the OCEAN… if you mess with that too much Godzilla will stomp your ass

-Stand up for yourself… cuz Godzilla is probably busy stomping more important ass than helping you with your bully… or obstacle.. Stomp their ass like Godzilla would a villain monster… or random annoying building

-After a triumphant victory… its totally cool to celebrate with a jig or dance to show your defeated enemy how rad you are

-always be cool

– science is your friend

-Godzilla is your friend… unless you’re an unethical D-bag… then Godzilla is your enemy… which is SUPER UNCOOL FOR YOU

-Godzilla rules

-If you disbelieve Godzilla rules… take a look into his face… and change your mind before he stomps your dumb ass

Jeff Zornow
A true disciple of the one true Godzilla